This morning I got the privilege of feeding my mother some breakfast. She's getting so weak, if she has to do it, she'd just rather not. I told her I had just made my "specialty" for her for breakfast. It was Honey Nut Cheerios, and I had added the milk myself..... I usually would get a good laugh, but now it was just a slight grin.... good enough for me. I told her if she didn't eat more, I'd have to try the "airplane ploy" on her. The one she used on us all these years. (It didn't work.)
If you haven't heard, what my mom thought was just not feeling good back in November turned into an case of Acute Leukemia. A very deadly and fast moving form of cancer. The doctors didn't really recommend treatment, as they thought she probably couldn't make it through. The cancer was throughout her body --- blood, lymph nodes, stomach, etc. Maybe 2-6 weeks to live. As time progresses, that number looks to be a pretty good window of time for Peggy Jane Steen, my incredible mom.
It's NO fun watching mom lose her strength to talk (we all know how she likes to talk!).....lose her strength to walk..... and begin the involuntary muscle twitches. I know it's not fun having them either.
I have a whole new respect for people that have gone before me..... caring for parents or elderly going through illness, etc. It's only been 5 days for me and I don't know how some people do it. My hat is off to all of you! Obviously only the Lord can give the strength needed for these privileged jobs.
Mom is still mom though. I told her yesterday morning I was going to get a shower. I could barely hear her, but she made it clear there were plenty of towels and I could get a fresh one. (Always looking out for others...especially her boys.) See mom has this thing..... you never use a towel twice. NEVER should you dry your face with the some towel that just dried your rear end the day before. "I don't care how clean that rear end was.... it's still touching your face!" That's mom. (Notice how I kept the language clean?)
She tries to get to the bathroom at night without ringing "the bell", because dad and I need our sleep...... she doesn't want to bother us. Such is the legacy that mom will be leaving behind soon. One that will live on in our hearts forever.
Dad is dealing with things as well as could be expected. He understands that God is ready for mom, and dad's not going to take on somebody like that in a game of one-on-one. He knows he'll lose. He's giving her up freely. However, it doesn't make the thought of living without her any easier to imagine.....
Dad is still dad.... I saw him eating supper by himself with a single bulb lamp pulled up beside his plate on the kitchen table. You see, that light only had one bulb. The overhead light had four bulbs. That's like..... four times as much electricity not being used....... Dad knows his four boys will be there for him as best we can. But nothing will take the place of that lady that's been on his arm for 57 years......
I thank each of you for your prayers and support during this time..... Some things are NO fun!
2 comments:
Oh Terry, that breaks my heart! I will definitely be praying for your whole family. It is hard for the husband to lose his wife. It was very hard for my Dad. But God will see him and all of you through. Please know that we are praying.
I know the pain. I am so sorry - His grace is sufficient!
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