The "S" Word

Leave it to mom to prove me wrong on two things I said in my last post.  It was nice to be wrong on these.

Remember I said she would probably not even realize where she was going today?  Well, I waited until I saw the ambulance pull into the driveway to tell mom we were taking her to another place for more comfort.  I didn't want her to have time to think about it, or object and be upset......  When I told her, she just said, "Is it the white house?"  Yes, it was a big white house.  Then she said, "Is it the house Don went to?"  Yes, it is the house one of their best friends, Don, went to for his last days about a year ago.  That was it.  She knew where she was going, and had no problem with it.  Once again, the peace of God was resting on her and this situation.  She calmly allowed us to get her transported to an incredibly beautiful and tasteful facility to finish out her days.  It is a serene and peaceful environment, a great staff that will take good care of her, and a place that is only 5 minutes from my dad's house.  We couldn't have asked for more.

I also mentioned that I would probably never hear her laugh again..... wrong again.

Tonight all the brothers were in the room and the nurse came in and used the "S" word... We all pretty much scattered at that point.... (you know, the "S" word -- suppository).  Craig, who decided to be the brother to spend the night with mom joked, "I guess I can let you know if it works or not...".  To which I replied, "Can I leave my camera with you?"

We thought mom was in a deep sleep.... she opened her eyes, looked up and let out the first laugh I'd heard in five days!  It was great..... It made me smile.... (you know, the "S" word -- smile.)  

6 Aloha Drive

Well, we made a big decision this morning.  Mom doesn't know it yet, and may never realize it actually.  There will be two paramedics coming to 6 Aloha Drive in Hiawatha, IA, to transport her out of her house for the last time.  I can guarantee you that this house will NEVER be the same......

We determined, along with hospice staff's recommendation, that it would be best for mom to get the professional care needed for her last few days.  Care that her family cannot properly provide.  We did our best.  She will be going to a beautiful hospice house to be cared for, which will allow us just to be family and not full care givers.

My dad knows that once that vehicle pulls up, his house will be a much lonelier place.  However, we know that this is the best decision for all concerned and he is at peace.

But mom has shown her heart and spirit again, even in her hallucinations...... last night she saw a little kitten on the ceiling.  Not too scary right?  That was mom.  No dark side, all light.   She was a delight to be around and always brightened the room with her quick laugh.  I guess we'll need to remember that laugh in our memories, as it probably won't surface again......

Thank you for keeping her and my father in your prayers.  God has been faithful and we know will continue to be until the end.  God bless.
 

Dad's Birthday

We're celebrating Dad's birthday tonight.  It's actually tomorrow -- a spry 83.  Married to the same woman for 57 years..... not a bad piece of work for an Iowa boy.  Way to go dad!  We're proud of you.

This will probably be the last birthday mom and dad have together..... I don't know how much mom will remember about it, but you can be sure we'll have some cameras flashing for proof.  We expect just immediate family and will celebrate as best we can.

Mom is continuing to slip, and the details are not important.  What is important is what I can't forget to tell dad......... See, as I was helping mom at 3am this morning, (who was insistent on brushing her teeth at the sink), she was adament that I tell dad to get that sink cleaned.  "It's a mess!"  Vintage mom.....

Without a miracle the time is coming soon...... And we are getting prepared, as I'm sure God is.  I mean, it's going to be a pretty nice place He has to get ready for her.  It might take more time than the usual place, as she deserves quite a mansion.....

Thanks for you prayers and support!  God bless you all.

Some Things are NO Fun.....

This morning I got the privilege of feeding my mother some breakfast.  She's getting so weak, if she has to do it, she'd just rather not.  I told her I had just made my "specialty" for her for breakfast.  It was Honey Nut Cheerios, and I had added the milk myself..... I usually would get a good laugh, but now it was just a slight grin.... good enough for me.  I told her if she didn't eat more, I'd have to try the "airplane ploy" on her.  The one she used on us all these years.  (It didn't work.)

If you haven't heard, what my mom thought was just not feeling good back in November turned into an case of Acute Leukemia.  A very deadly and fast moving form of cancer.  The doctors didn't really recommend treatment, as they thought she probably couldn't make it through.  The cancer was throughout her body --- blood, lymph nodes, stomach, etc.  Maybe 2-6 weeks to live.  As time progresses, that number looks to be a pretty good window of time for Peggy Jane Steen, my incredible mom.

It's NO fun watching mom lose her strength to talk (we all know how she likes to talk!).....lose her strength to walk..... and begin the involuntary muscle twitches.  I know it's not fun having them either.

I have a whole new respect for people that have gone before me..... caring for parents or elderly going through illness, etc.  It's only been 5 days for me and I don't know how some people do it.  My hat is off to all of you!  Obviously only the Lord can give the strength needed for these privileged jobs.

Mom is still mom though.  I told her yesterday morning I was going to get a shower.  I could barely hear her, but she made it clear there were plenty of towels and I could get a fresh one.  (Always looking out for others...especially her boys.)  See mom has this thing..... you never use a towel twice.  NEVER should you dry your face with the some towel that just dried your rear end the day before.  "I don't care how clean that rear end was.... it's still touching your face!"  That's mom.  (Notice how I kept the language clean?)

She tries to get to the bathroom at night without ringing "the bell", because dad and I need our sleep......  she doesn't want to bother us.  Such is the legacy that mom will be leaving behind soon.  One that will live on in our hearts forever.

Dad is dealing with things as well as could be expected.  He understands that God is ready for mom, and dad's not going to take on somebody like that in a game of one-on-one.  He knows he'll lose.  He's giving her up freely.  However, it doesn't make the thought of living without her any easier to imagine.....

Dad is still dad.... I saw him eating supper by himself with a single bulb lamp pulled up beside his plate on the kitchen table.  You see, that light only had one bulb.  The overhead light had four bulbs.  That's like..... four times as much electricity not being used....... Dad knows his four boys will be there for him as best we can.  But nothing will take the place of that lady that's been on his arm for 57 years......

I thank each of you for your prayers and support during this time..... Some things are NO fun!


  

The "C" Word

I've thought about how too lead into this post, but I can't think of a good way to do it.  So, I guess I'll just say it.......I found out this week that my mom has been preliminarily diagnosed with cancer.  We won't know for sure until later in the week, as confirming tests will need to be done.  She has a pretty large mass around her stomach and a couple smaller ones around her lungs.

Yep, the big "C" word.  It's one of those words that freezes you in place for a few seconds before you can even think or respond.  You're kind of numb and don't really focus too clearly.  Now, I know of many people that have overcome this disease, but unfortunately your mind does not gravitate to them first.......

However, now that I've had some time to think a little, my faith is growing.  I know that God is not scared of cancer, and this situation is not a surprise to Him.  My mom is a child of His that He cares about very much.  We have many friends and fellow believers praying that she will be totally healed.  THAT's what we will be believing for and praying fervently.  Please join me as we stand on the promises of scripture and believe that God will bring healing to my mom, Peggy J. Steen.

Thanks.

How To "WOW" With Words

I've started reading a book written by Frances Cole Jones, called "How To WOW" -- Proven strategies for Presenting your ideas, Persuading your audience, and Perfecting your image.  I know, I know, you're saying, "Finally, Terry might learn something that will make him start to be a little less repulsive to listen too.... for a while anyway".

It's interesting that the words we use have a tremendous impact in our presentation and ability to persuade.  For example, what word would you guess would be the most persuasive word in the English language?  No....no.....no....no....not that either.... give up?  A 1970 Yale University study claimed that the MOST persuasive word in the English language is "you".  Surprised?

Probably not.  If you think about it, we all like to be acknowledged and appreciated.  We all like to know we count.

What do you think the remaining top twelve words on the Most Persuasive Words list are?

 2)  Money
 3)  Save
 4)  New
 5)  Results
 6)  Health
 7)  Easy
 8)  Safety
 9)  Love
10)  Discovery
11)  Guarantee

They make sense as well, don't they.  So, let's make it a little game over the next few weeks.  Let's try to slip these words into our conversations and see what happens.  Hopefully it will impact our influence and persuasiveness, as well as draw more attentiveness from those we are addressing.... (I guess the next step would be to have something worthwhile to say, huh?  Okay, okay.... first things first.)

Thinking Like a Dog

If you have a dog, or have been around one, I'm sure there are times you're just dying to know what's running through their minds.......  That happened to me the other day.

This is my old, little Yorkshire Terrier, Honey Bear.  I let him out to to use "the facilities", as I always do.  It was so funny to watch him slowly meander through our large back yard, trying to find just the right place to leave his "deposit".  It must have taken him five minutes to make his decision.... what can possibly be the criteria for making that kind of decision so hard?

I thought maybe he was looking for the lawn mower wheel tracks?  He wanted to make sure he did it between the wheels..... so I would have a better chance of stepping in it.  (I can hear him snickering now......)

Or maybe he's looking for some good clumps of grass that are pretty thick and long.  That way his "little doggy cigars" (I just made that up, as I'm trying hard not to use the word "poop" in this blog.... oh,  never mind, I just blew it (I'm a little kid, aren't I?)).  Anyway, that way his "little doggy cigars" will fall down to the soil and be camouflaged for the next unsuspecting barefoot person passing by.

Or what about the old "hidden treasure" ruse.  It appears that he's angling one way, and then immediately turns and goes in another direction.  At the same time, I'm almost sure he's counting his steps just like a thief who has to come back and pace off where he buried the treasure.  Now every now and then I see a head fake too.  He like, throws his head one way and turns the other, hoping if anybody is watching that it'll throw them off as to which way he's going next, or better yet, lose track of the step count......  I guess this idea would be an option if he needs to come back later for an evening "snack"..... it's a "treasure" to him.  (I know, that's gross.)

Bottom line is, I guess I'll never know what Honey Bear's thinking.... it sure is fun to guess though.