Know Who You Are

Two snakes were crawling along one day.  One asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?"  The second one replied, "Why do you ask?"  The first one said, "I just bit my lip....."

Problem Solvers

After being married for 35 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Thirty five years ago we had a tiny apartment, a junk car, slept on a little bed and watched a 19-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old girl.”

“Now ... We have an $300,000 home, a $30,000 car, a nice big bed and a large-screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 57-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of the bargain."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 21-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a tiny apartment, driving a junk car, sleeping on a little bed and watching a 19-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems!